Guest blog: my experience of adopting an ‘older’ child

Posted on October 23, 2015 by National Adoption Service

I decided to adopt in my late thirties, and having just left a long term relationship I applied as a single adopter. As part of the assessment process with the Social Worker we discussed how I would manage as a single parent and talked about the age of the child and what would be best for my circumstances. As I needed to return to work after my adoption leave, we felt it would be good to have a child of school age so that I could return to work part time without having to arrange alternative childcare. I was approved for one child aged 3-8 years old and my daughter was four when she moved in. It worked really well for me as I took 8 months adoption leave and returned to part time work when my daughter started school the following September.

Our first meeting was soon after her fourth birthday at the foster carer’s house. She looked at me shyly as she stood beside the foster carer. I had tried to think of something memorable to say for such a big moment in our lives but decided in the end that a big smile would say it all. She was full of fun and pleased to hear that I had two cats who featured prominently in the book I had put together about my home and family.

My life changed overnight when my daughter first came to live with me- in a good way. She was a fully formed little person with her own personality and character. It came as quite a shock as Barbie first took over the bedroom and then a tide of pink things swept through the house. Not content with just the decor, Barbie also took over my mind as I found that I knew all the words to ‘I’m a Barbie Girl’, and most of the dance moves. Suddenly all my priorities changed and I had a lot to learn, the main one being the importance of chocolate in your life, as I was now living with a dedicated chocoholic.

Four is a wonderful age when children do and say lots of funny things. She was a real chatterbox and it was a steep learning curve for me as I struggled to answer those unanswerable questions that children like to ask. Difficult questions arose such as ‘Mum, do slugs like thunder?’ and lots of questions about tooth fairies. While out on her tricycle one day she looked up at me and said ‘I’m a little cutie pie aren’t I?’ and she wasn’t wrong. There are so many memorable moments to treasure such as her first day at school, first time riding a bike without stabilisers, first time swimming a width in the swimming pool, and so on.

During our first 8 months together we spent a lot of time watching films (the Wizard of Oz is still a favourite), making items out of playdough, going to dance classes, and visits to the park and swimming pool. It was fun. I really enjoyed being with a four year old as she was learning so much and still had so many new things to experience. When my daughter started school I returned to work part time and we managed well although like most working parents I had to put a lot of thought into how to manage school holidays and unexpected sickness.

It’s now ten years on and my daughter is a fully fledged teenager - still a chocoholic and now able to reach the hidden stash in the top cupboard! The house is less pink. She cannot remember a life before Instagram. There are the usual teenage challenges of having to get up before 1pm and your parents are just so embarrassing.

We’ve had lots of changes since I met my husband and we now have a much bigger family. I also have three adult stepchildren, and am about to become a grandparent for the first time as one of them is going to have a baby soon. I’m really looking forward to having a baby in the family to fuss over, but in terms of my own experience of having become a mother to a four year old, I really wouldn’t change a thing.

UPDATE FROM SUZANNE

Posted on July 10, 2015 by National Adoption Service

Since the last blog we have seen a milestone with the central elements of the NAS being fully operational for 6 months. That, and drafting our first Annual Report, has inevitably led me into thinking about how it is all going……..

It’s going well, I think……………this is what I tend to say when I am asked…….. it is quite difficult to tell! I know we are all very busy but that doesn’t always equate to success and what we really want to see is some real changes to benefit children, young people and adults who use adoption services. We are always keen to hear what you think so please let us know via [email protected]

Last time I said that Adoption UK and the After Adoption, Talk Adoption Group had given us an up to date view of the current issues for adopters and adopted children & young people in Wales. These reports are now on our website news and events page or from the organizations if you would like to have a look? The work dispels any myths that children and their parents rarely agree; there is huge agreement about what the issues are! Namely support in / by education services & schools, emotional health & wellbeing, life history, contact and generally being able to access different types of support when it is needed. This has all informed our priorities.

The annual report has pulled together lots of information, including what adopters and children and young people have told us, what we think we have achieved and data from the first year of the National Adoption Service Performance Measurement Framework. There will be a shorter easy read version available too. There’s some really good news in there as well as confirmation about the big changes that need to be made. It also contains a plan for the coming year and some targets. It will be published this month so watch out for it on http://adoptcymru.com/en/news-and-events

UPDATE FROM SUZANNE

Posted on April 30, 2015 by National Adoption Service

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NAS First Staff Conference “Achieving More Together”

Posted on March 31, 2015 by National Adoption Service

The National Adoption Service for Wales held its first staff conference on 24th March 2015. The conference saw delegates from each regional collaborative and the voluntary adoption agencies coming together for the first time as a National Adoption Service.

An opening address via video by Mark Drakeford AM, Minister for Heath and Social Services highlighted the key aims of the National Adoption Service as being the improvement in the recruitment process for adopters, increasing the number of adoptive families for children in Wales waiting to be adopted and better consistency in adoption support services throughout Wales.

Guest speakers included Prof Sally Holland, presenting CASCADE’s research on adoption support; Dr John Clifton presenting findings of a study he undertook with Dr Beth Neil on success factors in adoption recruitment, as well as a research study by Karen Williams on recruitment of adopters in Wales.

Suzanne Griffiths, Director of Operations at the National Adoption Service told the conference of the truly collaborative approach being taken to improve adoption services in Wales; the aims of the National Adoption Service are clear; the work is now beginning to address these.

The Conference also heard that the voice of adopters will continue to play an important part in shaping the work of the National Adoption Service. Prof Sally Holland, Director of CASCADE, reminded delegates of the research study on the experiences of adoptive families in Wales which invites responses from families who’ve had a Welsh child placed for adoption between 1st July 2014 and 30 June 2015.

If you are interested in taking part click here
http://sites.cardiff.ac.uk/adoptioncohort/research/

For more information about the adoption process in Wales, please click here http://www.adoptcymru.com

Adopters’ Voices Wales

Posted on February 26, 2015 by National Adoption Service

As the work of the National Adoption Service gets underway with the aim of recruiting more adopters and improving adoption support services we are keen to hear from adoptive parents in Wales.

A survey has been designed by Adoption UK working in partnership with the National Adoption Service to consult with adoptive parents about their priorities and how adopters may wish to be involved with the National Adoption Service in the future.

We would be very grateful if you would take a few minutes to answer the questions which apply to you.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NASadopt

National Adoption Service

Posted on January 31, 2015 by National Adoption Service

Wales’ new adoption service has appointed a central team to head up the national body.

The National Adoption Service has appointed Suzanne Griffiths as Director of Operations, Wendy Carroll as Business and Performance Manager, Martina McCrossan as Policy and Practice Officer and Bethan Thomas as Administrative Assistant.

Launched in November 2014, the National Adoption Service aims to improve services for all those affected by adoption and speed up the adoption process in Wales.

The new service is being led and delivered by local government, working closely with voluntary sector partners and is a key part of the Welsh Government’s plans for transforming the way social services are delivered in Wales.

Suzanne Griffiths, who has over 25 years’ experience in social work, will be responsible for leading and developing adoption services across Wales, to achieve consistently responsive services and to ensure improvements are made.

Suzanne said:

“It is an honour to be appointed as the service’s Director of Operations. Now the central team is in place, we can really drive forward positive change across the sector in Wales. Bringing together adoption services across Wales on a collaborative basis will deliver more consistent and improved adoption services for children, prospective and approved adopters as well as other adults and children affected by adoption.”

Prior to this role, Suzanne was Director of Social Services for Merthyr Tydfil County Borough Council and previously held the position of Head of Children’s Services for the council.

Suzanne has a degree and masters qualification in Social Administration and Public Services Management, and has managed adoption services in three Welsh local authorities over the course of her career.

Wendy Carroll has over 30 years’ experience providing business support to the social care sector. Her role will be to lead the implementation and co-ordination of the national performance framework across Wales, which will monitor adoption across local authority services and voluntary agencies.

Martina McCrossan, the service’s new Policy and Practice Officer, previously held the role of Adoption Team Manager at Cardiff Adoption Team. Martina has over twelve years’ experience in adoption services and qualified as a social worker in 1997. Her new role will be to develop common policies throughout Wales to streamline adoption services across regions.

Bethan is an experienced administrator, having worked in the education sector. Her role will be to provide a sound support system for the team and the national service.

Suzanne added:

“We are thrilled to have appointed Wendy, Martina and Bethan, who together bring with them over 50 years of relevant experience. Our focus as a team is on significantly improving the adoption process for all those who use the service.”

Christmas and Adoption

Posted on December 16, 2014 by National Adoption Service

Christmas can be a time of great fun and excitement! Christmas parties, the Christmas play, the countdown to Santa coming and of course all that chocolate!. For parents it’s the shopping, cooking and entertaining and spending time with family and friends. So much to do! But all of this can be overwhelming for some children who’ve been adopted and may have different memories about this time of year. Adoption UK, using adoptive parents’ own experiences have produced information to help you and your child at Christmas time. One of their key messages is to “keep it low-key and familiar”. Click on the link below to read more advice from adoptive parents:

http://www.adoptionuk.org/resources?category=&tagging%5B%5D=14

The Adoption Process in Wales: Where to start?

Posted on September 2, 2014 by National Adoption Service

It’s a huge milestone in your life when you decide to become an adoptive parent and you’ll no doubt have an abundance of questions swimming around your head; we’ve compiled a step-by-step guide to the adoption process in wales to answer some of your key questions and show you exactly what you can expect:

Step One: Making the Decision

Now, you may not consider this as a starting point for the process, but by deciding to look further into the option of adopting, you are actually taking your very first step – and a very important step it is too.
Here you will consult with your partner if there are two of you adopting, or you may speak to family and friends to get their input.

Step Two: Contact an Agency

Your next step in the adoption process is to contact an agency to express your interest. The agency will be able to talk you through everything that’s involved, and answer any questions that you may have there and then. You’ll receive an information pack and you may also be invited along to meet other potential adoptive parents which can be a great help, and a great comfort, to many.

Step Three: A Home Visit

If after gathering more information and meeting with the agency, you want to proceed, then the next step will take place when someone from the agency comes to visit your home. This is another opportunity to get to know the agency better, and to get the answers to any other questions you may have. By now, you’ll understand a lot more about adoption so naturally your questions may have changed considerably.

Step Four: Application and Assessment

Understandably, the assessment process is extremely thorough, and as such, it can take up to six months to complete. There is also much involved at this stage, including:

Preparation Classes: These give advice and guidance on the adoption process and the effect it will have on your life. Your expectations will be explored and you will be able to meet with others who are at the same stage of the adoption process as you.
Social Worker Visits: You will receive regular visits from your social worker as they aim to assess your suitability for a role as an adoptive parent.
Providing References
Criminal Background Checks: A background check will be conducted to ensure you haven’t been convicted of any serious crimes.
A full medical examination

Once you have been fully assessed, your social worker will send the report to an adoption panel who will be able to feed recommendations back to your chosen agency.

Step Five: Matching You Up

Perhaps the most exciting, and nerve-wracking step of the adoption process is step five. This is where, after a successful assessment, you will be matched up with a child that is deemed suitable for you. If you are happy with the match, then a decision will officially be made to finalise the process.

After this stage, your new family life can begin.

Are you currently considering becoming an adoptive parent? Get in touch today with your questions – we’d love to help you out.

What to do in Wales This Summer

Posted on August 14, 2014 by National Adoption Service

It’s the summer holidays and the sun is shining, so get out there and enjoy some great family fun days out. Here is our pick of the best things to do this summer:

Cardiff Bay’s Urban Beach

(image: Photgraphicallsorts)

Live in the city centre and not sure where the nearest beach is? Well, you do now. From the 25^th July to 31^st August the Oval Basin is home to plenty of excitement. Key features include a manmade beach lined with deckchairs and palm trees, open air swimming pools and even a lazy river.

And when you get bored of splashing about or sunbathing there are fairground rides, miniature golf, climbing frames and water zorbing. Then sit back and relax in the tiki bar and café. This is a great day out for a low cost!

Of course you could always get involved with the events held here on a weekly basis. There is something on every day of the week:

Monday – A Caribbean beach party with music from steel pan group DUOFLEX and entertainment from Captain Jack Sparrow.

Tuesday – Sports fun with Zumba lessons and a beach volleyball tournament.

Wednesday – Every Wednesday there is a showcase of music from around the globe, featuring a different country each week.

Thursday, Friday and Saturday – The best of South Wales’ musicians.

Sunday – A great family day out with plenty of music and dancing. The pinnacle event is the Vegas experience held by Darren Tyson. This is not to be missed!

This is a recurring attraction and this year’s event is sponsored by Braces Bread and Capital FM, which give you the chance to win ‘A Grand in the Sand’ simply by posting a selfie of yourself at the attraction. Could you be a winner? Get down there from 10am for free entry!

Peppa Pig’s Big Splash in Llandudno

Peppa Pig is hugely popular among young ones and she’s coming to Venue Cymru, Llandudno on August 20^th! This is an all singing, all dancing show which brings this favourite TV character to life with puppets and plenty of sing-alongs.

Image (Wikipedia)

Clever Little Celts at Melin

For a family day out that is educational, pay a visit to Melin in Pembrokeshire on any of the following dates:

14^th-15^th August 2014
21^st- 22^nd August 2014
28^th- 29^th August 2014
28^th- 29^th October 2014

At this family friendly event you can meet Celtic characters and experience some jobs and tasks that were everyday activities thousands of years ago, including grinding grain and willow weaving. You can then have your face painted to look like a real Celtic warrior.

Welsh Folk Music at St Fagans

On the 23^rd August, make a trip to St Fagans National History Museum for a day of traditional Welsh folk music. Enjoy performances from:

Aled Rheon
Gwenan Gibbard
Trwbador
DnA
Olion Byw
Kizzy Crawford
And many more!

During your visit you can meet instrument makers and take part in music-themed arts and crafts. You can even pick up a few more albums from the famous Spillers Records. This is a great day for experiencing Welsh culture in a laid back atmosphere.

So what will you be doing this summer school holidays? Will you be attending any of these events? Have fun if you do!

The Pros of Adopting and Fostering

Posted on July 22, 2014 by National Adoption Service

There could be any number of reasons for you considering either adopting or fostering a child, but how do you know which option would be better for you and the potential new addition to your family? Let’s take a look at the pros of both:

Adopting a child

When adopting a child, you are welcoming them fully into your family as your own; the child will take on the family surname once the adoption has been made legal through an adoption court order – this can be done 10 weeks after the child has lived with you. This gives you parental rights and responsibilities for the child.

For the above reasons, many people do consider becoming adoptive parents to be the right path for them, but there are many more pros to this process, including:

A permanent, loving family: This is the most beautiful pro to adopting a child, for both parties; the child who is up for adoption will be welcomed into a loving family, and will be nurtured and raised as the legal child of the adoptive parent/parents. They will have a permanent home without having to worry about moving between foster carers.
A second chance: Again, for both the child and the parents involved, the adoption process offers a second chance.

For the child, who was either given up for adoption by the birth parents or removed from their biological parents, they are getting a second chance at being part of a loving family. They are safe in the knowledge that they are wanted and loved, and will be forever.

For the adoptive parent/parents, it also gives them a second shot at happiness; perhaps because they were unable to conceive naturally or because they are a same sex couple, whatever the reason, their new adoptive child gives them the family they’ve always wanted. A feeling of joy that is not comparable.

Fostering a child

Fostering a child is a completely different process to that of adoption; fostering can be short-term and part-time, perhaps for just a few days at a time, or more long-term and full-time. As well as this, you find that many children who are in need of a foster home have been through some bad experiences and you will need to support them through their development before they either return to their birth parents or find an adoptive family. As a foster carer , you will become part of a team that is looking out for the welfare of the child, including: social services, health care professionals, and education professionals.
There are many pros to fostering, including:

Doing a good deed: It goes without saying that by fostering a child, for whatever length of time, you are doing a good turn. You are helping and supporting this child in their time of need, along with a team of professionals. Whatever their background, and whatever trauma they have experienced, you are helping them overcome this and assisting them in moving forward with their life and with their development. This creates an undeniable feeling of self-achievement; you’ve made a difference.
No two children will be the same: The children that pass in and out of your care will never be the same as one another. They will have different personalities, different experiences, and different challenges and issues that they need your help to overcome. Each one will bring something different to your life and to your family; you can gain enormous satisfaction from each individual case.

If you are a first time adoptive parent looking for adoption guidance in Wales, then get in touch today so we can take you through the process.